


The Points don't Matter (I)

by Love_love_me_do



Series: The Points Don't Matter (Whose Line Fanfics) [1]
Category: Whose Line Is It Anyway? RPF
Genre: M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-19 02:36:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7341187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Love_love_me_do/pseuds/Love_love_me_do
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a fairly normal day at the studio. Ryan, Colin, Wayne and Chip are this evenings guests. Drew is as usual extremely chipper and what he reads on the card only heightens his playful mood...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Points don't Matter (I)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys this is my first Fan fiction and one shot so please be kind.

"Hey Ry!" Ryan turned quickly to see Greg beaming at him,  
"Greg what are you doing here?"  
"I came to see my two favourite people before they go on stage" Greg said still smiling brightly "But speaking of where's Colin?"  
"I think he's in make up or the bathroom or something, I haven't seen him in a while" Ryan answered and looked around beginning to wonder where his friend had disappeared to, "But anyway what are you doing here? I thought you were out of town this week"  
"Well I am, I leave tomorrow, so I thought I'd swing by and see if my two best friends would like to go to dinner after the show" Greg asked with a wink  
"Colin and I would love that thanks you" Ryan agreed,  
"What would I love?" Colin walked up behind Ryan and put his hand on the tall man's shoulder  
"Greg's invited us out for dinner tonight after the show" Ryan said looking down into Colin's eyes, "you wanna go?"  
"Of course I want to go! Are you kidding my two best friends and I hanging out sounds like fun" Colin smiled, Greg wiggled his eyebrows and Colin giggled. It always got him when Greg did that. The Booming voice of Keith echoed around the studio,  
"Five minutes! Get to your places please"  
"Oh well, have fun out there guys, I'll see you when you're done" Greg said happily giving both the boys a hug before Ryan and Colin made their way to stage.

The audience had just been seated and the cameras were ready. Dan held up a hand. Paused. Waved it around and the music started.  
"Good evening and welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway? On tonight's show...." Ryan sat there thinking of something funny to do or say When Drew introduced him. But he didn't know what Drew would say so he had to go with something general. "-Take a bite outta Colin Mochrie! Only you can prevent Ryan Stiles!" Ryan quickly did a sort or muscle/presidential pose cross.   
"Im your host Drew Carey come on down let's have some fun" the audience cheered before Drew continued "Yes hello. Hello and welcome, welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway? The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter, yep they don't matter just like saying your luggage has been with you the since you packed it" the audience and cast laughed and Ryan adjusted his position on the chair quickly   
"Doesn't mean a thing, ah what's gonna happen if you never saw the show before is uh, these guys are gonna come up they're gonna make up everything up you see tonight right off the top of their heads it's gonna be really great then at the end of every round I give out points I dunno why it's just a gag to hold this show together and at the end of the show I pick a winner, winner gets to do something special with me and the loser let's, gets to lick the frosting" the audience cheers and Wayne and Chip smile while Colin sits there frowning and thinking about how he'd like to lick someone's frosting...but not Drew's!  Ryan points to himself and mouths words of disgust with big eyes, all the while picturing locking the frosting slowly, he stopped himself quickly so as not to get himself worked up and embarrassed. Drew announced the first game to be Wierd News Casters.   
"Colin you're gonna be the anchor of a news program, Chip, Wayne and Ryan are gonna be the co-presenters but ah what we've done is we've ah given them each a character to play. Colin you're co-anchor is Chip, Chip you're in the middle of a Broadway musical. Sports is Wayne it says here you're Drews number one teenage fan. He's been waiting a long time to do this let me tell ya and doing the weather is Ryan, Ryan is desperate to quell rumors that he's gay" Ryan rolled his eyes while the audience laughed and Wayne Chip and Colin all giggled and Drew gave him a big thumbs up. He could just picture Greg out the back sniggering. His glance flickered to Colin who seemed like he was trying not too laugh too hard 'cause that would give something away, especially when he knew first hand how gay Ryan could be sometimes. Ryan responded quickly as though by second nature   
"But what do you want me to do in the scene?"  
"Oh yeah," Drew paused to let the audience laugh "I want you to pretend that you're desperate to quell rumors that your gay, okay" Ryans mind was flickering so quickly he had to tame all of his ideas, he quickly dropped his voice folded his arms and said deeply   
"I'll see what I can do Drew"  
"Yeah well, good luck" Ryan smiled slightly trying to pass it off as pretending to chew but Colin noticed and smiled to himself. Drew introduced the music and Colin took the stage, saying the top story   
"Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one American will always disagree with the other nine" Hey passed the game to Chip and watched trying to think of names for Wayne and Ryan when it came to their turns. Chip sang a musical number about 'welcome back from the break' and 'news for you'. Ryan was only half paying attention as the other half was thinking of all the things he could say and do when it was his turn.  
"Well he's no Michael Crawford, now let's go over to sports with our sports guy, Flappy" Wayne did a really good job at being Drews no. 1 fan and was very convincing at screaming excitedly like a girl and clapping excitedly he even put a card signed by Drew down his pants  
"This just in, sucking up still gets you ahead in the buisiness" Colin announces displeased but laughing on the inside. He really was the best at staying in role  
"Well why don't we go ahead and see what the weathers going to be like in the weekend with our crazy weather man Sunny Skies" it wasn't original but it was the best Colin could do, on the inside he was so eager to see how Ryan tried to quell rumors that he's gay since after all...well...let's just say Colin knew all too well that Ryan was not straight.  
"Well. Thank you very much" Ryan said calmly "Well let's just look at the weather, I'll just grab my pointer, not that I need something in my hand because I don't." He ended briskly Colin was trying so hard not to burst out laughing and could practically hear Greg saying 'suuuuure Ryan, we totally believe you'   
"We're going to have sunny skies over the rockies. The rockies which resemble women's breasts which I love by the way I love. nothing more attractive than women's breasts and it should be sunny and clear for the entire week and" he turned to Chip "by the way nobody finds your dancing exciting" Chip steps up from his stool and walks over to Ryan who turns his back to Chip. Chip begins to dance sort of erotically around Ryan who just shrugs him off. Colin ends the game quickly   
"Well that's all the news that's fit to be shown, join us for the four thirty five news, goodnight" Chip continues dancing and Ryan looks at him and pretends to yawn.  
Drew buzzes and claps with the audience  
"A thousand points to everybody and nice try to Ryan" Colin smiles broadly and laughs a little while Ryan just sits up and says in his deep voice   
"thanks Drew".

They play a game called duet featuring Wayne and Chip and Laura Hall and Linda Taylor and someone on the Sax. They sing a song to Connie whose a receptionist at a doctor's office in the style of a jumping jive song. Then a game called scenes from a hat. For the category 'ill advised Valentines day gifts' Colin came up with a goats head and Ryan with a gun, and 'a picture of me with my lover'. Another suggestion was 'other things the first man on the moon might have said'  
Ryan: ohhh I hope I get back  
Wayne: Weeeee   
Chip: A Starbucks?  
Colin: I shouldn't have had that three bean salad  
Ryan: *steps in something* noooo.  
Colin made everyone laugh when the category was 'lines you wouldn't hear in a western' by saying "Oh this towns big enough for the two of us".

The next game that was played was whose line.   
"Ryan is Rip Butler Colin is Scarlet O'Hara, Ryan-, you know that's how it goes in the relationship" Drew introduced. The scene included Ryan talking about pigs wrestling in a blanket and Colin being his little pork roast and Colin saying how two thongs dont make a right. Ryan and Colin had just sat down when Drew announced the next game to be Hoedown. Ryan hated Hoedown and everyone knew it, but he waited to see what suggestions would be Given. He asked the audience for a group of people they hated and decided to go with men. Ryan saw where this was going to go immediately and got up fairly enthusiastically and began preparing for what he could say if someone chose to tease him tonight. The music began and Wayne started.

Wayne: I've got a message to all of ya gals, I'm a sensitive man so why can't we be pals, I know sometimes in the past I haven't treated you right, that's why I'm taking hormones boom in a transvestite.

Chip: men can be quite mean men can be quite bad, I bet you had a boyfriend I bet he was a cad, I don't really like men myself that I can tell but my friend Ryan well he thinks they're swell.

Ryan smirked. Just as he'd suspected. He began thinking of rhymes and smiled as he came

Colin: I am a man I love films with violence I like to watch them every day even when they don't make sense, I saw this one with a guy with a gun and his shots would never miss ya, then he'd hit you with a flower he was dirty Hare Krishna.

Game on.

Ryan: let me tell you all about men I walk the walk, I don't care what people say just let them talk , all the rumors going round yeah they're kinda scary, I guess I'm gonna have to stop showering with Drew Carey.

The audience cheered and Colin smirked and whispered to Ryan as they walked back to their seats and Drew announced a break.  
"Good job Ry" Ryan smiled and he and Colin went to the back room to find Greg laughing his heart out at Ryans make up station   
"Showering with Drew huh?" He said in his fit of giggles   
"I thought Col and I were the only ones allowed to shower with you" Greg smiled mischievously after finally composing himself  
"It's Chips fault, he lead up to it" Ryan said defensively   
"Right, hey you guys gotta get back out there or Dan will be angry at you, you know how everyone hates angry Dan"   
"I thought that's what Brits are like all the time" Ryan smiled clearly referencing their host from Whose Line is it Anyway UK where they always made fun of Clive Anderson.  
"Can I have a kiss before I go?" Colin whined to Greg, he obliged an kissed Colin gently and slowly then turned to Ryan,   
"I suppose you want one too?" Greg asked   
"Isn't it risky here?"  
"Oh Ry stop worrying so much" Colin said and turned to leave   
"Yes, I would like one too" Ryan smiled to Greg. Greg gently pushed his lips to Ryans and skimmed his tongue across Ryan lips,  
"Stop doing that...you don't want me...well you know, on stage do you?" Ryan complained   
"It'd be quite funny to see how you pull it off" Greg grinned, "Now get that sweet ass out there" As Ryan turned Greg slapped his ass playfully and winked when Ryan turned to look at him. When they got back on stage Drew made a comment about Ryan making out with his boyfriend. Any other time and Ryan would've frozen but since his characters had all been gay-ish today he was expecting comments like that.  
"No Drew, you weren't there so how could I?" Ryan teased and glanced at Colin who smiled slightly with a twinkle of knowing in his eyes.

They returned from break and played a game of questions only in the film Godzilla ending with Drew and Ryan,   
Ryan: Are you gonna go kill him?  
Drew: Are you gay?  
Ryan: Don't you know that Drew Carey is the only man that can give you the answer to that question?  
Drew stepped towards Ryan and went to do something with his microphone but backed out leave Ryan confused   
"What are you doing? What are you doing?" The buzzer sounded "What just happened there?" "I don't know" Drew said "Are we going to commercial?" "Well be right back on Whose Line right after this" "What is that commercial for?" Ryan asked, when the cameras were off Drew explained that he was going to grab Ryans shirt and pretend to kiss him or something but decided against it for some reason, meanwhile Greg and Colin where laughing at Ryans confusion and Drews...just everything. 

They ended the episode at last with Ryan and Chip reading the credits, Ryan trying to convince Chip that he's not gay.

Drew stood up and addressed the audience telling them to leave in an orderly fashion and go through certain doors. The rest of the cast went to the back and Colin and Ryan followed Greg to a nearby restaurant. It was a fairly quiet place with decent meals and huge portions when it came to the food. Ryan and Colin bickered the whole way there, arguing over who was going to pay and all they agreed on was that Greg was not paying.   
"Ryan, you go get us a table and talk to the person at the counter and I'll pay at the end of the night, okay?"  
"Thank you sir" Greg smiled, "this way guys" through all the bickering Ryan and Colin hadn't noticed Greg had already got them a table and given the guy his credit card. They followed Greg and the man to a table where they were given menus.   
"Greg we can't let you pay" Ryan said when the man had left   
"Im paying as a final gift to you for a while. I'm going to miss having you two around, even if it is just a week or two" Greg smiled, he reached over and grabbed Ryans hand, then grabbed Colin's  
"I love you guys, I really do" Greg kissed each guys hands in turn then let go and picked up his menu   
"So. What do you want to eat guys?" Greg asked and Ryan and Colin began studying their menus   
"I think I'll have the Grilled Chicken with salad and Roast Vegetables" Colin said after a few minutes silence  
"I'll have the Steak Burger with fries" Greg grinned  
"I think I'll have the Spaghetti Bolognese" Ryan said after long minutes of thinking.   
Greg called over the waiter who'd brought them a bottle of water when they'd first been seated.  
"Hello my name is Earl, I'll be your waiter for this evening, would you like to hear the specials?" The young man asked politely, Greg smiled and nicely declined  
"No its alright weve already chosen" the waiter nodded "May we have a Grilled Chicken, Steak Burger and Spaghetti Bolognese please" Greg continued   
"Anyways drinks?"   
"Uh, Pear Cider, and two Beers please" Ryan said smiling at the others, the waiter went through the different types of beer and they finished ordering their drinks.

"It's nice to just hang out with you two, I mean the Whose Line gang is great but, I miss you guys" Greg said sighing in contentment   
"Yeah, but some of the cast are being a bit...suspicious. they think Ryan and I are a couple" Colin said to Greg   
"Well technically we are...sort of...we're a couple within a triple" Ryan said trying to make it make sense when what they shared definitely didn't make sense. 

Dinner was the shorter kind, conversation revolved mainly around the show from Whose Line today and they made sure not drink too much because they still had to walk back to the studio and drive home. 

Upon arriving at Ryan and Colin's shared house the three of them made their way to living room.   
"So do you want to watch movies or something?" Colin asked the other two.  
"Actually..." Greg began "I was kinda hoping we could... um... since I'm going away for a while..." Colin giggled, he loved how the great Greg Proops got shy when it came to this stuff, despite his constant need to tell dirty jokes  
"I like the idea...Col?" Ryan said looking at Colin in the doorway. Colin nodded quietly and came towards the guys on the couch.   
Ryan grabbed Colin's shirt and pulled him down connecting their lips quickly, passionately. Ryan licked Colin's bottom lip and lightly took it between his teeth, the couch rose slightly then sunk as Greg moved closer. Greg put his hand in Ryan's hair and tugged gently, Ryan turned his head to Greg and began kissing him instead while Colin slowly took Ryans shirt off exposing his smooth torso. Colin slowly licked Ryans chest and took one of the taller guys nipples in his mouth flicking his tounge over it and nibbling at it softly. Ryan began to kiss down Greg's jaw line and unbutton his shirt while Greg's hands wrapped themselves in Ryan's and Colin's hair.  
Soon enough none of them had shirts on and Colin and Ryan were pulling at each other's pants. Greg quietly suggested they move the party to the bedroom and in a few short seconds everyone was on the plush double bed that Colin and Ryan shared. Colin lay down on his back and smiled up at Ryan. Ryan crawled down beside him and kissed him softly. While Greg found Colin's fly and and eased his pants off him Greg removed his own pants and sat up   
"Ryan? Where's the lube?" Greg asked.  
"Top Draw" then Ryan went back to kissing Colin using his other hand to slowly stroke Colin's member. Greg sat between Colin's legs and lubed his fingers. He perched the first one on the entrance and waited for Colin to approve before gently sliding it inside him. Colin moaned into Ryans mouth and Ryan moved his hand from Colin's shaft and cupped his cheek kissing him deeply and only pausing to catch his breath. Colin felt Greg inside him and tensed everytime he added another finger.   
"Col, can I?" Greg asked and Colin broke apart from Ryan and breathing heavily smiled and whispered  
"Yes"  that was all Greg needed to plough on ahead. He lubed his member heavily and poised his tip at Colin's entrance. Gently he pushed himself into Colin. Colin moaned in pain into Ryans mouth. You'd think after lots of experience it wouldn't hurt anymore but Colin still felt the painful burning sensation as his lovers member filled his cavity. Ryan tried to take the pain away from Colin by massaging his balding head and distracting him with kisses. Colin began to feel more comfortable with Greg inside him and thrusted upwards. Greg knew by now that this meant Colin was ready for movement. As Ryan and Collin kissed deeper and moaned into each other's mouths Greg thrusted into Colin, slowly at first but then more vigorously. Colin stopped kissing Ryan briefly and began kissing Greg. Greg thrusted faster and faster giving Colin immense pleasure each time until he came. His seed filled Colin and he slowly pulled out  still attached by the lips to him. Greg rolled over to the other side of Colin allowing Ryan to take his place. Ryan did so and kissed from Colin's erect nipples to his erect member.  Ryan licked the tip of Colin and placed his lips around the Colin's hard shaft. Ryan pumped up and down with his mouth while Colin and Greg  kissed heatedly and Greg's hand stroke Ryans member in rythym with Ryans mouth. Ryan and Colin both came at the same time and the three wound down the mood by kissing each other softly and then just lying there. Colin in the middle, Greg and Ryan on either side of him.

"We're gonna miss you Greg" Colin said breathlessly   
"Yeah right, you two still have each other when I'm gone and let's face it you two really are a cute couple" Greg said leaning on his arm amx looking at the other two. Ryan smiled  
"Greg can I talk to you for a minute, sorry Col you can hear this"   
"Fine as long as you two don't have sex without me" Colin said and ushered them from the room, after all he was still a bit too sore to move. Ryan and Greg went to the kitchen and began preparing drinks for Colin and each other   
"What's up Ry? You've been quieter than usual"  
"Greg. I want to ask Colin to marry me but I won't do it if you don't want me to, I also won't do it if it means you're uncomfortable. I hope I'm not offending you by wanting to marry him above you" Ryan said quickly   
"That's great Ry! That's a great idea, then you won't have to wear those fake rings and pretend to be married to the lesbians. Ryan I'm not going to stand in the way of you getting married now or ever...we will still be able to have our occasional group things though right?"   
"Yeah definitely, we'll as long as you're not dating other people then you'd be cheating but for Col and I it wouldn't be cheating if it was still the both of us just with an extra person in bed. Thanks Greg. Thanks so much I'm beyond happy now" Ryan beamed. 

They took the drinks upstairs and Ryan sat beside Colin while Greg was in the bathroom.  
"Greg!" Ryan called and the goofy man came from the bathroom quickly. Ryan Took Colin's hand and kissed it gently.   
"Colin. We are the dynamic duo, on stage and off. I knew it from the moment I first saw you in Canada. Then when we both got on the Whose Line UK Series I knew we'd be great friends. But it only grew from there. I'm improving this because that's what you and I do best together, that's what gets the best out comes. So Colin Mochrie, will you marry me?" Ryan asked holding his breath but not visibly   
"What about Greg?"  
"You two are the couple within a triple. Please Colin font let me hold you back, I'm travelling more and more and it's not fair to ask you to stop living your lives because I'm not there...we can still have fun together in more ways than one" Greg winked. Colin looked back to Ryan who looked like he was going to explode if he had to wait any longer   
"Yes! Ryan. I love you! Thank you so much! You too Greg!" Colin exclaimed. He kissed Ryan long and slow and then seeing Greg looking slightly down walked over and kissed Greg passionately   
"I mean it Greg, thank you. We can still have sex with him while being married to each other can't we?" Colin asked to Ryan   
"Of course. Especially because the feelings mutual. And it wouldn't be just you and Greg or just me and Greg. It'd be all of us" Ryan said happily   
"I love you guys"   
"I love you Greg, Ry"  
"I love you Greg, Col"

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading guys and this is actually based on  
> Episode 5 Season 2 Whose Line is it Anyway (US).


End file.
